Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
