I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
