Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize