My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
