Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
