Dual....:-)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
