it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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