I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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