i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
