Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize