There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
