Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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