he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
