why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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