I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
