I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
