i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
