Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
