do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize