That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
