420 ftw
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
