I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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