normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize