I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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