I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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