I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
