I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
