He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
