I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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