What did we do last night that was yellow?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
