i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
