Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
