In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize