Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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