What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
