He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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