I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
