You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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