did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
