I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
