using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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