Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
