No more Irish car bombs ever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
