So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
