I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
