ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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