So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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