Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
