You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My life is pants optional.
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