Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
