This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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