At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
