New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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