your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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