We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
