he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize