There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
