I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
