WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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