Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
