so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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