Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
3 2 1 whiskey
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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