well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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