doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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