Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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