he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
