im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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